you ain't no queen

"London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down,
London Bridge is falling down,
My fair Lady".

Now why would a semi famous ex Black Eyed Pea's member want to sing a song about 'London Bridge'
I sat aghast as the Red Setter dog lookalike rubbed herself over one of those Guards outside Buckingham Palace and painfully shouted out her lyrical grimeness about.... a bridge?

"How come every time you come around
My London London Bridge want to go down
Like London London want you to go down
Like London London be going down like "

Somehow I simply cannot feel sexually aroused by a grubby bridge. Crikey all that traffic going over it every day? All that pigeon shit... but wait. It seems she has addressed that.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit
When I come to the clubs, step aside...
Pop the seeds, don't be hating me in the line
V.I.P because you know I gotta shine
I'm Fergie Ferg
Give me love you long time"

Guess what Fergie? We don't love you long time lovey. You really haven't got it. You needed to be hid between those BEP men with the marginal talent.... at least in producing tracks.
I was never convinced by her vocal talents anyways, but this stuff is dire. A Gwen Stefani, Pink attempt.
'Look at me... I'm Sandra Dee. Except I'm untalented and rather ugleee'.
See! I can write songs too.
London Bridge? She's better off singing about the original Severn Crossing.