sexy's pop's back

Just when you thought it safe to switch on the radio. What is it with these reunion bands lately? Take 'Take That' back they came to a fanfare of noise and applause from the media. They were splashed all across the tabloids and interviewed by every radio DJ in the land. They scrabbled up a few rather large venues and sold tickets at 65 quid each. And everyone fell over themselves to buy them. Sell out. Success. But at no point the threat of the 'return' they didn't frighten us with more 'music' why? Because they have astute business managers who knew it would never work. Their hits album sold like hot cakes over Christmas and everyone remembered them in a haze of of reminiscent love. Even Robbie Williams was nice about it all... That probably helped a lot.
"So", thought all the other boy and girl bands everywhere. Those ones that had some minor success and folded. Why not us?
This week we see The All Saints back on the market. Reformed and putting all the bitchy nasty slagging each other off behind them (yeah right) and they 'love' each other. Back together. New single. Lots of interviews and lots of reassurances that they are now friends forever awwwww?
Come on, they HATED each other. The prima donnas that make up the Appletons (did you watch I'm a celebrity?) One of them married a Gallagher FFS. That must take some face.
Mel and Shaznay. Mel was always the 'nice' one but Shaz was a right cow.
But we are to forget all of that and look forward to a future with The All Saints.
Well personally I think the musical world was better when they were all hid in their respective million dollar homes and left us alone. The new single 'Rock Steady' is bland, insipid and leaves me cold.
It's sugar coated pop. There's so much good new music, exciting and fresh out there. Why rehash what was never good in the first place.
And this leads me suitably to the worst news to hit Tracks and Tracks this week.
In a North London Shopping centre a monster raised its ugly head once again today.
Yes.... The boyband with "The Power To Rock You". 5ive have announced their come back.
Be prepared for more 5ive tracks by next Spring.
Of course it's not all galaxy smooth chocolate in the 5ive camp. Apparently 5ive have become four with Sean not actually interested anymore. Give that guy a curly wurly. He probably has a real job in Asda by now.
5ive hit the charts at a time when we couldn't absorb enough crap. We LOVED crap. We were in Spice girl fever. We wanted as much glitter and candy as possible. We loved music by Lolly and A1. We all knew the S Club 7 dances. We had Spice world on video.
It was known as mass mental pop illness. Groups like Nirvana worked hard to break the candy M&M shell. As the millennium hit and as the Dome closed, music seem to thrust forward and the pop bubble burst.
So why after a mere 6 years is pop trying to once again sugar my tea?
I'm turning diabetic immediately.